I can’t understand what you’re saying!

Research shows that up to 75% of communication between any two people is miscommunication! Can you believe how high that statistic is? Imagine how much it happens in relationships where the stakes are higher, the pressure is on and the expectations are high! What’s the reason for it? Well, a variety of reasons. One of the biggest reasons is that people don’t communicate what they need in open and vulnerable ways. For example, if a woman wants her guy to buy her flowers more often and feels badly that he doesn’t, she may feel afraid and vulnerable to say something like, “Hey sweetie, I really enjoy gettin flowers and wish you would get them for me more often”. That’s an example of clear, open, honest and vulnerable communication. What she is more likely to say is, “You never buy me flowers!” That is an attack, a criticism and probably an untruth which is very far from the originally intended message of, “I wish you’d buy more flowers more often!” See the miscommunication? Think the guy is going to feel like buying her flowers when she attacks and criticizes him? Think he’ll even know that’s what she wants or do you think he’ll think she’s just trying to dump on him? Classic miscommunication! So, the morale of the story is, beat the statistic! Ask for what you need in an open, safe and vulnerable way and watch how little of your communication is miscommunication! Happy coupling!

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