Archive for January, 2014

The couple that plays together, stays together!

January 18, 2014

ImageHappy weekend everyone! A great way to feel close to your partner is to create a weekly ritual together. It might involve exercise, sports, play, entertainment, you name it. The idea is to create a special time every week for just the two of you to do what you both enjoy. My husband and I contracted to devote Friday mornings to exercising together. It is our priority and we stick to it. When I overhear him turning down a plan because he, “Has plans with his wife to go for a run”, it makes my heart sing. I feel important to him and a priority in his life. The awareness of this safe attachement goes a long way toward the security of our relationship and reduces conflict and arguments in our life together overall. Most petty arguments about the toothpaste cap being put on the wrong way is about testing these attachements; how much do I really matter to you? Will you do what I need you to do? Get more securely attached to each other and these arguments tend to reduce dramatically. So get out there and make a plan with your honey and stick to it! Happy coupling!

Signs of relationship stress

January 6, 2014

Happy New Year everyone! The time right after the holidays tends to be a busy time for therapists. The holidays tend to be stressful, frustrating, disappointing and lonely for people and it is often right after the chaos of the holidays that people begin to realize this and are motivated to deal with these issues.

How many of these signs of relationship stress are you currently struggling with?

1. You and your partner have difficulty resolving conflicts.

2. You and your partner never discuss your relationship.

3. You feel that your partner doesn’t really know you.

4. You feel that you don’t really know your partner.

5. You find yourself criticizing your partner all the time.

6.You feel closer to your friends than to your partner.

7. You blame each other or stonewall each other very often.

8. You feel lonely in your relationship.

9.You’re showing symptoms of stress.

10. You’re self medicating with drugs/alcohol for the stress in your relationship.

from: Women Managing Stress: A Sourcebook of Natural Solutions by M. Sara, Prentice Hall Canada, 2002.

If you find yourself struggling with 3 or more, perhaps couples therapy is in your future?

Happy coupling!!